October 2 -- Update: For Better Or Worse

To All,

Hello, it's me.

I am feeling I am not back due to popular demand since Liz has been so good with her updates.

The feedback on her writing has been incredible and rightly so.

Today though I want to pass on my thoughts.

It has been 9 weeks since my operation. I have started my "chemo after the operation" which may last until mid-January with 7 more 2 week cycles.

With the remarkable support of Family and Friends, I have maintained a positive attitude.

Everyone knows that the battle with cancer has its down times and I am no different.

I have had the body pains, the complete lack of energy, the fuzziness in my head, the diarrhea, the unwillingness to get out of bed.

I have had my 5-10 minute cries wondering why me? When will it be over? I just want to be happy and enjoy life.

Well with the loving hand holding of Liz and the meaningful conversations with Rabbi Bulka, I get through it.

Last night was my worst night since I have been sick.

I was throwing up for the first time and in severe pain from 11:30pm to 1:30am.

Remarkably I did an unmanly thing, after the first time I threw up I went and woke up Liz to ask for help.

Liz was there helping me walk back and forth to the washroom from my bed, holding me up as I was in such pain, my knees were buckling.

Providing me towels to wash my face, Kleenex to blow my nose, water to rinse my mouth as a threw up and providing a pillow and blanket to help keep me comfortable as I laid on the floor.

It was not pretty by no means and Liz was there as always helping me out, whatever it took.

I contemplated going to the hospital as the pain was so severe but wondered what could be done there.

Once the vomiting stopped and from shear exhaustion I was able to go to sleep.

I woke up at 4:45am feeling a whole lot better. I am okay, no pain.

My first thought was to thank God to be alive today and for the 31 1/2 years of marriage with Liz.

I will review with the doctors what happened and come up with a game plan.

But to me that is just technical, a solution to a problem. Solutions to problems occur every day.

What is more important to me is knowing that Liz is there for me and that we will overcome whatever road blocks are put in front of us.

This will be over and I will be happy and I will enjoy life. I look forward to enjoy the next  31 1/2 more years of marriage.

And why me? This challenge has taught me the importance of being healthy, the importance of being happy and the importance of cherishing what you have.

With so much love for Liz,

Have a great day,

Arnie.